I think it goes without saying that we all love TV these days, you can’t change channel without finding a critically acclaimed drama about a tortured middle aged white guy, or ‘genius’ comedy that everyone loves; heck there’s even a few cartoons out there people speak highly of. What do a lot of these shows have in common? Jerks. There are jerks everywhere, we shouldn’t like them, but a lot of the time we do, so I decided to comprise a list of 10 of the top jerks ever in TV.
10. Enoch 'Nucky' Thompson (Boardwalk Empire)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/817917477.jpg)
Now given that Nucky is a ruthless gangster in prohibition era New Jersey it’s no surprise that he’s pretty evil, but does he have to keep treating Eli like such an idiot? He never cuts his brother a break and blames him for nearly all the mistakes in the operation and then kind of ruins his son’s life too. I support Nucky in most things, which is why he’s so low on the list, but the way he treats Eli is just the behaviour of a real jerk.
9. Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/897875024.jpg)
Perhaps the most well meaning character on the list. Michael Bluth tries to keep his insane family together... by insulting them, getting into fights with them, ignoring them, and constantly forgetting the existence of his son’s girlfriend. Really if it weren’t for his keeping the business afloat it’s a wonder the family didn’t see him for the jerk he was the whole time.
8. Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)
Where to start with these reincarnations along the same bloodline throughout history? Series 2, that’s where. Because series 2, 3 and 4 Blackadder is the one who is constantly stuck below his station taking orders from idiots and being forced to spend time with other idiots. Fortunately he doesn’t just grin and bear it, he insults and physically abuses his way through every situation which causes much enjoyment for those of us watching, but is genuinely behaviour we associate with jerks.
7. Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/598595811.jpg)
Now I know I’m supposed to like Sookie, but I’m sorry she’s self centred, annoying and a real jerk. I mean she started out interesting and relatable enough, but then it got to the point where she was in love with someone new every series and she just started to come off as selfish and fickle with no real interest in the considerable problems of the people around her. This is classic jerk behaviour if ever I saw it.
6. Francis Urquhart/Frank Underwood (House of Cards)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/803741852.jpg)
I’m allowed to cheat on this one as they’re two versions of the same character. Francis Urquhart is a cold blooded monster who will destroy everyone in his path and Frank Underwood is a slightly more humanised version of the same. What makes these two special is all their snide remarks about other characters are saved for delicious asides to the camera. They are wonderfully two-faced and they take extreme joy in letting you, the audience, know just how big a pair of jerks they are.
5. Piper Chapman (Orange Is The New Black)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/919006185.jpg)
The newcomer to the list is the star of the breakout hit show about a women’s prison, now I’m not saying that stuck in a correctional facility I wouldn’t give into some less than stellar behaviour. But she’s like that to all her family and friends before she’s even in there. Her long suffering fiancé is the biggest receiver of this treatment, as he is forced to find out that she used to be a lesbian and that is inside with her ex and then she chastises him for not being okay with it, like a total jerk.
4. Eric Cartman (South Park)
Cartman once killed a kid’s parents then fed them to him as chilli. Do I even need to bring up the racism, violence and other general sadism? But he did try to get Family Guy taken off the air, so he’s not a complete jerk I guess...
3. Sterling Archer (Archer)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/656214841.jpg)
Archer is a drunk, a womaniser, a spy and an idiot. Always letting his pretty childish whims take over when he feels like it during a mission and by proxy putting a whole lot of lives in danger. Not to mention his mistreatment of his valet, Wodehouse, but then Wodehouse is a heroin addict, so maybe he deserves it... Also Archer put a tattoo on a baby once. Jerk move.
2. Walter White (Breaking Bad)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/735764276.jpg)
So let’s see, multiple homicides, manufacturing drugs, public nudity and just being really mean to Jesse. Breaking Bad might be my favourite show, but boy Walt is a real jerk, mainly in how he treats Jesse, calling him an idiot and playing with his emotions at any time when it behoves him to do so. Also for making us see him in tighty whitey underwear too often, what a massive jerk.
1. Tony Soprano (The Sopranos)
![Picture](/uploads/3/7/0/3/37038347/355161811.jpg)
Tony Soprano, the man who kind of hates his own son, wants to kill his own mother and gets into a gang war with his own Uncle. Tony generally acts like a spoilt child, thinking he’s entitled to everything and not taking no for an answer. Throw in some adultery and you have the perfect jerk. But not just any jerk, the jerk without whom almost none of our present celebrated TV jerks would exist. Tony Soprano was the jerk who paved the way for so many jerks to come and for that I salute him.
So those are the jerks. Of course there are many more, but I either haven’t watched enough of their shows to judge or I just didn’t think they were as big a set of jerks as the jerks in this list. Jerks.